ARC's 1st Law: As a "progressive" online discussion grows longer, the probability of a nefarious reference to Karl Rove approaches one

Monday, January 14, 2008

Dr. Evil Demands $3 Quadrillion for Katrina

This story is just hilarious and reminds me of the running joke in the Austin Powers films, where Dr. Evil asks for some ridiculous sum (either too low or ridiculously high) from the government or he'd fulfill his diabolical plan.

Katrina victim sues U.S. for $3 quadrillion
Federal government hit with 489,000 damage claims after hurricane

NEW ORLEANS - Hurricane Katrina's victims have put a price tag on their suffering and it is staggering — including one plaintiff seeking the unlikely sum of $3 quadrillion.

The total number — $3,014,170,389,176,410 — is the dollar figure so far sought from some 489,000 claims filed against the federal government over damage from the failure of levees and flood walls following the Aug. 29, 2005, hurricane.

Of the total number of claims, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers said it has received 247 for at least $1 billion apiece, including the one for $3 quadrillion.

"That's the mother of all high numbers," said Loren Scott, a Baton Rouge-based economist.

For the sake of perspective: A mere $1 quadrillion would dwarf the U.S. gross domestic product, which Scott said was $13.2 trillion in 2007. A stack of one quadrillion pennies would reach Saturn.
Unfortunately for the plaintiff, I doubt that they have a "death ray" on the moon targeting the US, which means that they'll get bupkis.

I love New Orleans - as a fan of jazz, cajun/creole, and everything else in New Orleans, I hope it's rebuilt and is successful. However, as American Digest says in this post, it's time for us to just say "No" to these continuous drumbeat about Katrina. It was two years ago; If you're still waiting for the government (or anyone else) to come put your life back in order, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it's not going to happen.

Here is just an excerpt from American Digest:
[...]
This chunk of legalized slunk trading may or may not include the Washington con job currently being floated in Swampy Bottom -- "Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans. Interesting number." But it hardly matters.

I've considered the matter of New Orleans carefully.

I've weighed the never-ending, and now maudlin, saccharine suffering of its people against my now limitless cache of compassion fatigue. They have been found wanting.

To be fair and just, here's what I propose we give New Orleans from this day forward. Nothing. Niente. Zip. Zero. Nada. And a full-scale barium enema just for asking for one more thin dime. Did you send money to this barrage of bozos? I did and I want it back. With interest.

The city and its long line of corrupt citizens and politicians have already managed to hoover $127 billion out of the federal government and that, as they say, should be enough for any cluster of crooks. On a per person basis that comes to $425,000 for each of the 300,000 fools still living in that pulsating pustule on the bayou.
[...]
We've already poured billions over this raw festering sore of a city. The infection is still there and it gets more virulent by the day. And now we find that the denizens of this sewer want us to actually pay billions and trillions more to keep this chancrous old collection of corruption afloat? I don't think so. But con-artists don't stop conning until you stop them.

Perhaps if they had asked for "1 billion, gagillion, fafillion, shabolubalu million illion yillion...yen."

Your Co-Conspirator,
ARC: St Wendeler

Comments (1)
Monterey John said...

Quadrillion here, quadrillion there. Pretty soon you are talking real money.