ARC's 1st Law: As a "progressive" online discussion grows longer, the probability of a nefarious reference to Karl Rove approaches one

Thursday, January 04, 2007

2007 Predictions from the Conspiracy

I realize that these are about 4 days late, but reigning ARC Prediction Champ Brian has apparently refused to play in our Rovian games this year. I'm sure that now that we've stuck our necks out on these predictions, he'll post some here as well - nevermind the advantage that he'll have when next year's scoring comes around and he's crowned ARC Prediction Champ again.

A bit of a change in format for this year. Instead of prescribed categories, I've aske the conspirators to simply submit their predictions in an open format. For scoring at the end of the year, we'll simply do a % correct method (instead of raw score).

First up is Monterey John:

  1. Hillary Clinton comes out of the closet
  2. Dick Durbin admits he is in remedial history classes with emphasis on 20th century tyranies
  3. California, Chicago and NYC ban KFC and McDonalds
  4. Democratic house leadership seeks declaration of war on Walmart
  5. John Kerry launches mission to Osama bin Laden and declares this "spiritual leader" ready and willing to deal with US
  6. Bill Clinton asks rhetorically what the meaning of "was" was
  7. Denver blizzard of 2006 was result of global warming according to New York Times
  8. Minimum wage bill amended to $109.50/hr... Pelosi says, "Hell, why not?"
  9. DJI reaches 15,000 - Senate Democrats predict impending economic doom
  10. Unemployment rate reaches 2.5% - see 9 above
  11. Inflation rate 1.5% - see 9 above
  12. Home sales reach record levels - see 9 above
  13. English becomes official second language in California
  14. John Kerry is beheaded by Osama bin Laden
  15. William Jefferson D-La announces he is running for president as he has plenty of cold cash on hand
  16. Robert Byrd D-WVa sponsors anti-earmarking legislation and attaches rider that will fund the Robert Byrd Skyway from Charleston WVa to Washington DC
Now for mine, in no particular order:
  1. Rosie off view - in order to pursue her next ambitious project
  2. Air America really out of business
  3. MSM undermines war effort more than in 2006
  4. Nifong found guilty of ethics violations
  5. Duke lacrosse players cleared of all remaining charges
  6. Osama is confirmed dead; Libs don't think it's a big deal even though they've been bitching about him being alive for 4 years.
  7. President Tom gets whackier; continues to lose support within country
  8. Jimmy Carter asserts himself in foreign policy (aka makes an ass of himself)
  9. Mexico will be a larger concern in the War On Terror, through unholy alliance of drug kingpins, international terrorists, and revolutionary leftists
  10. Hugo Chavez will expand his influence over South America
  11. Castro will die; Raul will pick up where he left off - no democracy for Cuba
  12. Hamas ousts Fatah for control of Palestine. Pacifists around the world don't understand why the Israelis can't sit down and negotiate with the new government.
  13. Chris Matthews announces that he's running for President as a Green b/c he's tired of how conservative and weak the Dems are. Keith Olberman follows suit.
  14. Obama is still a rock star.
  15. Tax cuts do not become permanent, but Bush does not allow tax increase - veto pen is ready (Tim Russert has a conniption).
  16. Guest Worker program doesn't pass - status quo.
  17. Unemployment rate inches up to 5% - MSM doesn't know how to cover, since Dems control Congress.
  18. Annual economic growth is 2.5%
  19. DJIA approaches 14,000
  20. Bush appoints 3rd SCOTUS nominee - minority or woman with no track record, scaring Dems & GOP.
  21. More "youth" riots in France
  22. Terrorist attack in EU
  23. Congress approves increase in troops, with conditions of a timetable for exit.
  24. Significant Troop level still in Iraq by end of 2007.

Finally, Brian:
In no particular order.
  1. Rosie O'Donnell will "retire" from the view. She begins working on a film project. [this is a ripoff from St Wendeler
  2. Moqtar al-Sadr will be killed.
  3. Violence will escalate in Iraq in the first half of the year, followed by a lull.
  4. Minimum wage bill will be signed into law. (oooh out on a limb aren't I)
  5. Prescription drug benefit will be re-examined by Democrats in the house, but will go no where.
  6. Bush will veto at least 3 bills this year
  7. Case against Scooter Libby is withdrawn. Fitzgerald cites the lack of evidence he is able to put on due to restrictions from the CIA on classified information. Media takes this as Scooter winning on a technicality, but is happy to have the case go away (technically innocent, but we all know he's guilty). Joe Wilson's civil suit is dismissed with a summary judgement.
  8. Barack Obama's presidential prospects peak in 2007.
  9. Newt Gingrich does not announce a candidacy for the presidency.
  10. Colin Powell makes an announcement that he will NOT run for president despite no-one asking him to run.
  11. Michelle Malkin will do Pulitzer Prize level work while being embedded in Iraq, but will be ignored by everybody but Fox News.
  12. Dick Cheney leaves the VP office. Conspiracy theories abound on how Karl Rove a) gave him an offer he couldn't refuse or b) offed him.
Have a Happy New Year!!!

Your Co-Conspirator,
ARC: St Wendeler