ARC's 1st Law: As a "progressive" online discussion grows longer, the probability of a nefarious reference to Karl Rove approaches one

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Other Great Stories From the New York Times

In addition to this recent story about the US Government's tracking of international financial transactions, the New York Times has had some doozies in the past which are of a similar vein.

I apologize that we haven't commented on this story yet, but we thought that everyone already knew that the NYTimes was just the English-language print version of Al Jazeera and Al-Qaeda's propaganda arm in the West. "The Architect" has instructed us to dispense with our comments forthwith because apparently there are people around the country (and someo of whom are in influential positions) who actually do not know this fact, so here you go.

Other Great New York Times Stories throughout America's History at War:

INVASION AT NORMANDY DELAYED TO JUNE 6th DUE TO INCLEMENT WEATHER!!!
June 5th, 1944

In what surely must be considered a setback for the Roosevelt administration, the weather did not cooperate with the military commanders' plans for a full-scale invasion of Nazi-occupied Europe, resulting in a postponement to June 6th. While critics of the administration have called for a negotiated peace with the Germans, this most recent news that the plans to invade France at Normandy instead of the nearer beaches of Calais only increase the concerns of many in Washington over the competence of Eisenhower and, by extension, the Commander-In-Chief. We here at the Times feel that it is in the public interest to know exactly where their young sons will be sent to die in a what surely will be a gruesome invasion.

Another headline from World War II:
British Use of Captured Enigma Machine Brings Results
February 21st, 1941


After capturing what the Allied forces are calling the Enigma machine, the German Navy is under increasing pressure as the US and British military continues to intercept their submarine wolfpacks before they are able to harm Allied shipping. The code name ULTRA has been assigned for these intercepts of important German communications which provide US and British forces with information about German war plans at the same time that the German forces in the field receive them. While many Allied ships continue to be sunk by German warships, top administration officials tell the New York Times that this technology could be decisive in winning the war, and have even gone so far to ask us to not to print this information. However, we here at the Times recognize feel that it is in the interest of the public to learn of the great successes of the Allied forces as they occur - not well after the events have unfolded. In fact, after checking with our sources in Nazi Germany, the Germans are already suspicious of the security of their Enigma machines, so it is unlikely that this story will have any impact on the Allied forces' ability to prevail.

This one is a bit more recent...
ZARQAWI CORNERED! F-16s En Route!!!
June 6th, 2006

In what will surely be a huge victory for the Coalition Forces in Iraq, sources within the US Military have confirmed that Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi's has been located 1.5 miles north of the town of Hibhib, near the city of Baquba in Iraq. Our sources indicate that two F-16s, laden with smart-bombs are en route to this location and will be dropping their lethal payload on his safehouse.

While our sources within the military provided us with this information in strict confidence and asked us not to release it prior to the attack, we here at the Times feel that it is in the public interest for the American people to learn about their military's successful operations - as they occur. Now that Zarqawi's death is imminent, it is incumbent upon this administration to take heed of decorated war veteran John Murtha's advice and redeploy "over-the-horizon" (perhaps to Okinawa?) to allow the Iraqi government to stand on its own. If a child, let's say a 2 month-old infant, is to learn to swim, you must throw the infant into the pool alone and see what happens. We are now at this similar stage with the Iraqi government and [...]


With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Of course, since Iraq is an illegal and unjustified war, it's okay for the Times to print stories which damage our efforts there.

HALLIBURTON!!!!

P.S. Anyone who would like to report on similar NYTimes headlines from the past, feel free to do so in the comments. Would be much appreciated.

***UPDATE***
Michelle Malkin is also poking fun with some help of photoshoppers.

GatewayPundit is also covering...

Your Co-Conspirator,
ARC: St Wendeler

Comments (3)
ptg said...

New York Times, August 7, 1945

Japanese leaders are considering surrender after America's top secret A-Bomb destroyed Hiroshima. It is said that they fear the island nation will be totally devastated by these new super-bombs.

But the Times has uncovered the fact that the US has only one more A-Bomb in it's arsenal, believed to be targeted at Nagasaki. Once that A-Bomb is used, the Japanese will see Truman's bluff and continue the fight to save their homeland from US occupation.

This is another result of the Truman administration's stubborn refusal to announce an exit plan for the Pacific War.

Ayman said...

Blazin Hazin Brotha

John Hudock said...

While the above may be satire, during WWII, the Chicago Tribune which was virulently anti-FDR at the time did publish a story that we had broken the Japanese codes before the battle of Midway. Luckily because of lack of internet the story didn't get the widespread coverage that it would now and when the Japanese finally heard it they didn't believe it.