ARC's 1st Law: As a "progressive" online discussion grows longer, the probability of a nefarious reference to Karl Rove approaches one

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Martyr Act Extension - Laugh Out Loud

Scott Ott at Scrappleface so perfectly captures how silly we muss seem to our enemies:

Patriot Act, Global Jihad Get 6 Month Extensions
by Scott Ott

(2005-12-22) — Just hours after the U.S. Senate voted to extend the Patriot Act for six months, al Qaeda released a statement declaring that it would extend its global terror war for the same period.

Al Qaeda’s governing body approved the extension to the Martyr Act, which had been slated to expire December 31, despite controversial provisions which some in the international terror community say pose a threat to civil rights, or at least open the door to potential abuses.

“We have to strike that delicate balance of achieving our strategic goals without limiting the liberty that our people value so much,” said an unnamed aide to al Qaeda chief Osama bin Laden. “We’ll use this extension time to retool the Martyr Act in a way that addresses personal privacy concerns, without eviscerating our effectiveness.”

Critics of the Martyr Act contend that al Qaeda agents should have to show more evidence that a potential target is a threat to the establishment of a global Islamic Caliphate before they execute a suicide bombing, videotaped beheading or detonation of weapons of mass destruction.

“You have to have checks and balances,” the al Qaeda source said. “Otherwise, you have all of these independent cells out there terrorizing people with no cohesive vision. Someone in the chain of command has to have the authority to run a sanity check.”

The spokesman said six months should be enough time for “the hawks and the bleeding hearts to reach a reasonable compromise.”
Frankly, I don't think the GOP can get the requisite number of Dems to pass the thing. They'll try to blame Bush, but when the next attack occurs on US soil and they set up another commission to figure out who knew what and when, don't be surprised that some FBI agent comes out and mentions the fact that he had a warrant for Mohammed's land line and his main cell phone, but hadn't gotten one for his 5th cell phone - so, he couldn't find out when the attack was going to occur.

But hey... if we can't protect civil liberties for the terrorists, we can't protect the civil liberties of all Americans. Except for the Mafioso... they've already lost their civil liberties when it comes to roving wiretaps. Thank God the Dems haven't made a stink about that.

Your Co-Conspirator,
ARC: St Wendeler